Showing posts with label Experiment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Experiment. Show all posts

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Empowered

So despite my desire to not step on a scale, that is exactly what I did this morning. And I was pleasantly surprised to discover that I had dropped 4 lbs. since I started the fat fast three days ago. My happiness wasn't so much about losing, although that was a definite bonus; but more about the fact that what I am reading, what I am researching and the new ideas that I am embracing....simply work.

Yuparooni, they are working...for me anyway.

The more I read and the more I take control of what I choose to research in regards to how my body works and how foods are metabolized I am pleasantly surprised to discover that I am normal. What I mean in this is that there is something I can do to control how I look and feel....instead of being a victim of the wrong information that has and never worked for me.

I feel empowered.

Finally after exerting so much time and energy trying to fruitlessly control, people, places, situations and circumstances outside of myself in order to feel better. I have discovered for the moment a way to control myself, my thoughts and my actions to have a result that makes sense. All based upon the new information I am gathering up. It's moments like this that help to reinforce that what I am doing has some validity to it! And allows me to keep moving forward with a smile on my face!!

 Till next time,

Monday, January 17, 2011

Another go....

I think I may be back...

My desire to write again has manifested into a somewhat obsession. I think about it constantly; waiting, wondering if I might pull from the day a few extra morsels of time to free a few of the one million and twenty thoughts that whirl throughout the grey folds of my mind.

But then something comes up...

Sami wakes from her nap.
Tabi wants to be fed.
A phone call is answered.

There seems to always be something.

But I digress...

I'm ready to start writing again, start the process back up again. I'm ready to build upon the miracle I set into motion a little almost three years ago.

My God...has my life changed since then.

That's about it for now, but I know something is coming, a change is a brewing.....and I'm gearing up for what's next.


Mighty

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

A New Experiment

Now that I have a self-hosted blog I've been pondering what to do with this site and for the most part I have not done much with it. When I was offered a new site, sponsored by someone I grabbed that opportunity and passed this one onto someone else.

Initially I had the hope that other people would want to follow in the footsteps of this experiment much as the last author Soul Dancer did. But found out that wasn't going to be the case. So after posting some duplicate content of my own for the past few weeks, a new idea popped into my head today.

Start another experiment.

This site is where this entire journey began and it was here that I worked out some of my deeper misconstrued ideas about life, my beliefs and myself. Through my acceptance and surrender to a new way of life and desire for a new experience within this life, the begining of the journey was here. This is where I set forth so many of my intentions about what I wanted in this experience of my life.

This in a weird twist of understanding this became a planting field for the aspects of my life I felt I never embraced.

The original experiment was very broad but not so specific. I wanted to change my life in such a drastic way that it could only be described as miracle, by myself as well as others. I would say that the conditions of my life at this moment in time, by far exemplify the intention I set forth in order to change my life. And the changes that I wanted to see have in their own way manifested.

So I have the inner workings and proof, for myself, that within me is a force that has the capacity to create more then I have permitted myself to experience in my life so far. Now I want to see how much further I can push it.

What else can I accomplish?
What else can I conceive of?
What other limitations can I surpass?

I am a firm believer that I am the master of my own life....except that I am missing some key and integral bits of information in the actual process of "mastering" my life. But I do know that the more I look within, the more I listen to the voice within, the more I follow my heart and my gut....

The more that is revealed.

So now that I have decided the direction I want to go in....now all I have to decide is what I will choose to manifest in my experience and harness the creative forces within to have "it" manifest upon this canvas of my life.


Until Tomorrow,
Mighty Morgan

Saturday, September 29, 2007

Mighty Morgan



I lived in the cesspool of active addiction for over 12 years
of my life. In the past two years I have redefined and
recreated every aspect of myself in order to never return
to that life.

After playing by the so called "rules" I lost the life I had
worked so hard to regain.

In the bitter grips of desperation I made a decision to
change my life. I choose to challenge myself as well as the
universe at large with my question....


"Is it possible to transform ones life in the course of thirty

days in such a way that can only be
described as a miracle?"


"Is anything truly possible?"


Answers that can only be discovered from within the depths
of oneself...

I became willing to challenge every belief I learned throughout
my life that has created the limited life of my existence.

In the end was only the beginning and I discovered that
anything was and is possible once
I had decided it was.....




-The First Experiment-

The Experiment
Day One..My Hopes
Day Two...The Process of Acceptance
Day Three.... Letting go of the Luggage

Day Four... Spiritual Detox
Day Five..... Spiritual Vitamins
Day Six.. Another Look

Day Seven... Awakening
Day Eight... The Journey Forward
Day Nine.... Putting the pieces together
Day Ten....Finding My Way.
Day 11... Getting Ahead

Day 12 & 13 …….. Filling the empty spaces.
Day 14....... Never Alone
Day 15..... Halfway Where?

Hi My Name is Morgan and I'm a Schmoozer
Day 17... Stepping through the door.
Day 18... Eyes Wide Open
Day 19 & 20.....Home

Day 21.....
Day 22...... Spiritual Nourishment
Day 23....... Nothing but Silence.

Day 24..... Higher Power or Lower Power
Day 25......Looking Ahead.
Day 26...The Bigger Picture
Day 27.....Believing Again
Day 28...Finding the Beat.
Day 29 ... Cycles
Day 30 ... New Shoes


The Next Steps....................


Thursday, August 9, 2007

Day One... The thesis

This is the first day of the rest of my life. This is the day when it all starts for me.


How many times have I said that? How may times have I followed through……………..a lot less times than I have puttered out….dieing down to the humdrum monotonous life I have been leading for the past few years. Monotonous not in terms of most.


Major move to fresh city, drunken nights dancing, random boys a screwing, and a partridge in a pear tree (please excuse the contradictory religious reference - but Jews are not known for their catchy holiday tunes, minus the Hanukkah song of course).


It started three weeks ago – the unfortunate series of events leading up to me reevaluating the writing I had started in February after a certain incredible concert by the one and only JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE, a man whom I still waiting to receive a present from ……….. in MY box!


I had lost touch once again with the inspiration I had discovered watching this man sing his heart out on the piano.


I was a robot.


AGAIN


Three weeks ago I discovered that the man whom I was waiting for; the man whom I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW I was waiting for, was engaged.


I can’t tell you what I felt at that moment, other than complete loss of hope. And a physical piercing through my heart down into the pit of my stomach through my spine up over my head and squeezed out through multitudes of wet sloppy tears.


He was never going to drive down to DC and take me in his arms and laugh about our time apart. He was never going to share with me the moment that he knew I was the girl he wished to be awoken by every morning.


ReadMore....


Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Another Woman... Another Miracle

Meet Soul Dancer...

When someone asks me who I am, I think,

“I am a dancer.”

In reality, I am an insurance broker, a JUNIOR insurance broker.

BUT I am a dancer.
That is my core.........

Read more...




The next steps....

I began this experiment as a desperate last attempt to discover more.

All that I had known.
Though I knew.
Believed.

Wasn't enough to for me to want to keep myself in the world I lived in.

Life is simply a reflection of what you know
...and something within me knew more then I did.
I challenged myself on a level in which I never found the. courage to do so before.

The pain in my life, the disappointment and disillusion I felt in every moment was the driving force that led me to find another way. To redefine the abstract nature of what life was described to be, as I was told life was by those who taught me.

I am a miracle.
You are a miracle.
We are all miracles.

They are not events that take place high in the sky separate from us in someway. They are only the simple wonder of once again finding the absolute bliss, magic and awe that life contains.

Within the struggles of everyday life.....
Miracles occur daily.

I was always looking into the sky for them and so I missed them appearing before me.

I don't look for them in the sky any more.
I found them within myself and within the people I encounter in life.

I also found a few angels on this journey of mine.
Not the ones I was taught to believe in...

Nothing appeared out of the sky.
No heavenly images appeared.
No harps played music.

Just people taking a risk to guide someone else closer to their dreams.

Yesterday I got an e-mail from this angel....
Yes they can e-mail..

They asked if they could create a Word Press account for me to continue my blog on....
I accepted and humbly and gratefully say thank you to the Angel that wishes to stay unknown.

So I will begin posting there
the new address is.....

Process of a miracle..the next steps


I wasn't sure what to do with this blog...
It had given me such an opportunity to redefine my life.
I didn't want to post the same stuff on two different blogs.

So what should I do????

A couple of weeks ago an old friend of mine found me on My Space.
It's been years since we have seen each other and both our lives had drifted very far from the common ground it once existed on.

She's gone through many of the same struggles I have as well as many I have not.
She has a different story to tell....

But it's the same path we all journey upon when desperate for the truth of change.

I challenged her to do what I had done.
I challenged her to challenge herself.

Scared and fearful she agreed.

Another 30 days with another miracle .

Another Woman....
Another Story..
Another Journey...

Watch the next Miracle unfold.....

Monday, August 6, 2007

Begin Again


There was an old man named Michael Finnegan
He had whiskers on his chinnegan
They fell out and then grew in again
Poor old Michael Finnegan
Begin again.

There was an old man named Michael Finnegan
He went fishing with a pinnegan
Caught a fish and dropped it in again
Poor old Michael Finnegan
Begin again.

There was an old man named Michael Finnegan
He grew fat and then grew thin again
Then he died and had to begin again
Poor old Michael Finnegan
Begin again.


I had to take a few days to really soak up what I had done through the past thirty days and now it's simply time to....

Begin Again.

Where I was at day one was not where I ended up at the 30 day mark.
It appears as soon as I begame willing to change my life....

My Life changed.

So this is where I begain again for now.
Yet again do I know how my life will change in the next 30 days?

Nope...still no clue.

But it certainly will not be the merry go round I have spend my life on. Right now this is the tentative plan. I write "tentative" because in my experience....

I make plans and God laughs.

I am staying flexible enough to jump through any and all hoops that life may present to me through this next phase of the journey.

I had shown a few people what I had written through the past thirty days and I was really overwhelmed by the response I recieved. One of which has agreed to help me in whatever way possible to get it into print. So this is my next puzzle that I will begin to peice together.

Is it possible to publish a book and have it recieved by the world?

I have written more then once that I am no longer willing to trade my life away in order to barely survive. What I have learned through life hasn't worked and I truly believe down into the depths of my being that a path is being opend before me to discover the unknown.

Weaving throughout the subtle ryhme and reason that life contains there is more then the very distorted truths of what I was led to believe.

I cannot accept that my purpose in life is to settle for a nine to five job of whichI have no interest in. I can't believe that within the framework of a divine intelligence "that" is the possiblity I have to endure as the truth of my life.

So I won't.

There are moments when I wish I could just accept an ordinary life. Be okay with what others determine their life to be...but I can't.

Every single fiber of my entire being tells me that is not part of my journey, not part of who I am, not what I have the capacity to settle for.

Still sometimes I wish I could.

The thing about having dreams is the fear that sits right alone besides then for the ride. The little whispers of doubt it infects them with....

What if I try and there is nothing more?
What if life is what I can't accept?

Questions that have no answers until I test them with the experience of chasing them with all I have. Sometimes it seems easier to live in the fantasy of what dreams may hold then to risk knowing that they can never be a possibility. The courage to participate within my own life to be responsible for the life I choose to live is in moments terrifying. I can no longer blame the world at large for what my life became.

I choose to take responsibility for me.
I choose to take responsibility for my dreams.

There's something stirring within...
I wonder what will happen next?

Until Tomorrow,
Mighty Morgan





Sunday, June 24, 2007

The Experiment

The Process of a Miracle…..

Is it possible to change one’s life in the course of thirty days? To have such transformations occur in which the seemingly limited capacity of comprehension can stretch past it’s own boundaries into the untapped potential of possibilities?

A miracle defined, is an event that is unexplained by the laws of nature.

Ok, so what does that mean?

My own interpretation follows this line of reason; that my own view of my personal circumstances or situations openly enter into the realm of the unknown. Deep within the prison cell of my beliefs, my perceptions freely expand to experience life at another level, beyond the depths of reason.

Essentially my beliefs become non-existent in the ever-increasing freedom of my awareness. The potential power of the universe unleashes itself to manifest within my life as an event.

Only to be described by myself as well as others as a miracle.

So what is this miracle transformation I am intending to occur within the next thirty days? In order for that to be clear; I need to explain the current situation or my perception as well as how I arrived at this point in time.

I made a decision two years ago that I would go to any lengths to completely change my life. To discard ALL of the beliefs about what I learned or thought I knew. Permitting myself to heal from the limitations I clung to in desperation; living my life in the cesspool of heroin addiction.

I lived in the shadows of existence in a paper bag of hopelessness, fighting for years to stop. Each failed attempt only reinforced the reality of my life as the expression of the cliche

“Once a junkie, always a junkie.”

On September 4th, 2005…. Instead of fighting the addiction….I began to fight for me. Understanding that the person reflected back to me in the mirror was not who I wanted to be or anything close to I really was.

In order to reclaim the bits and pieces of who I truly was I need I needed a new canvas of life to paint myself on. I needed to forget every belief I held in my consciousness. Thus initiating the process of the miracle to occur within my own personal existence. The re-creation of myself, which simply is the person I am today.

Some may not understand this as a miracle or even dismiss it as one. For those who have had the effects of addiction within their own lives or by default by those they love; know that it’s a miracle. Because the sad, sad truth of addiction is that more die and suffer in it’s prison, then those who escape to freedom.

On September 4, 2007, it will be exactly two years since I stuck that needle in my arm for the last time. My life since then has become more then anything I had ever believed possible and continues to be so. I believe I can initiate yet another miracle at this point in time simply because I made a decision that it will be so.

Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote,

“Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.”

I know this to be true for my life is the manifestation of that decision I made close to two years ago. It was not easy, very unpleasant at times. But I had the willingness and allowed this process by permitting a “Higher Power” to set the ground rules.

Initially this was the staff at the Detox, then the counselor’s in rehab and those running the outpatient facility. I surrendered my life of distorted self-sufficiency to that of the welfare system. I relinquished my life to anyone and anything that had more of a clue how to live other then myself.

I finally understood, what I knew about life equaled roughly ten hospital Detox’s, three trips to rehabs and several outpatient facilities, a trip to jail and too much self inflicted misery..

I’m smart, but my intelligence had nothing to do with creating the life I dreamed of as a little girl. In fact I had created the exact opposite…. a freaking nightmare not only for me but all those that had the unfortunate experience of crossing my path during the years of my active addiction.

Today I am closer to the person I want to be, closer to the person I really am. But at the moment I’m flailing, I really have no clue.

Another junction in the so-called crossroads of life and the signpost are blank. You see this is all new to me, I have not yet written any pages in this part of the book of my life.

A wise man by the name “Rev.” once told me,

“Life is a book. Each day we write a page in this book by virtue of our behaviors. No erasures allowed!”

I can’t change anything that I may have done in my life may it be good bad or indifferent. But I can write a new story from this point on. I have the power to re-create my life and re-create myself.

I chose to heal.

Heal myself from all the mis-information I gathered from all the other mis-informed people. I made a decision to finally choose what I wanted to experience in this life, instead of clinging to the hopes I allowed others to paint my dreams on.

Those that know me, know that after working at my job for close to two years I just quit. That little voice within spoke volumes of truth that echoed through the illusion of the reality I held on to. I couldn’t ignored the truth that no one would have the power for me to live my dreams, except me.

I always thought of “risk” as something in which I would lose something. What I’ve come to realize though is risk is what I don’t stand to gain if not seized when it presents itself as the opportunity of change.

I’m not interested in slaving away at a job for years waiting for the day I retire to “then” live the life I want. I’m not interested in living each day chasing after the illusion of tomorrow and all that it promises, because I lose today.

That’s what happened I worked like a dog for the past year and a half, barely scraping by. Thinking it was the way to get where I wanted in life. But there is no “there” so to speak, there is only here. And I want every moment “here” to be one in which reflects a life lived in the unlimited possibilities and not one lived in limitations.

So now here is where I explain the reason for this experiment. The day I walked out of my job, I had no back up plan and no idea of what was going to happen. All I knew that another chapter of my life was about to be written and it was not going to be a chapter I already lived.

I believe this is a kind, generous universe. I believe that for a majority of us we all want people to succeed, to be happy, to be prosperous. We all want this for ourselves as well.

When watching a movie we all cheer for the little guy that risks it all for a dream. Yet when the movies end we all forget that we too have the same desires for our own dreams. The daily bump and grind on the treadmill of “what is” extinguishes away any of the hopes that were sparked.

So how can this truth become a manifestation of a miracle?

With belief, with your participation I know that this can be evident in the results. I’m asking that only others that believe or even want to believe to be part of this.

The idea has been unleashed into the universe at large. Now all that needs to happen is simply the process of the miracle to unfold. Is it possible for me to remove myself from obscurity? To have my intentions realized by this message as it ripples through the universe? To have the intention return to me as the manifestation of the life that resonates as the truth of the life I choose to live?

Will you be “a part” of this or “apart” from the promise of a miracle in your own life?

The choice is yours.

As for me I already made the decision that this will reach exactly who it needs to in order for this to occur. The truth of the matter is that if this becomes possible for me then it becomes possible for you.


Until Tomorrow,

Mighty Morgan