Sunday, June 24, 2007

The Experiment

The Process of a Miracle…..

Is it possible to change one’s life in the course of thirty days? To have such transformations occur in which the seemingly limited capacity of comprehension can stretch past it’s own boundaries into the untapped potential of possibilities?

A miracle defined, is an event that is unexplained by the laws of nature.

Ok, so what does that mean?

My own interpretation follows this line of reason; that my own view of my personal circumstances or situations openly enter into the realm of the unknown. Deep within the prison cell of my beliefs, my perceptions freely expand to experience life at another level, beyond the depths of reason.

Essentially my beliefs become non-existent in the ever-increasing freedom of my awareness. The potential power of the universe unleashes itself to manifest within my life as an event.

Only to be described by myself as well as others as a miracle.

So what is this miracle transformation I am intending to occur within the next thirty days? In order for that to be clear; I need to explain the current situation or my perception as well as how I arrived at this point in time.

I made a decision two years ago that I would go to any lengths to completely change my life. To discard ALL of the beliefs about what I learned or thought I knew. Permitting myself to heal from the limitations I clung to in desperation; living my life in the cesspool of heroin addiction.

I lived in the shadows of existence in a paper bag of hopelessness, fighting for years to stop. Each failed attempt only reinforced the reality of my life as the expression of the cliche

“Once a junkie, always a junkie.”

On September 4th, 2005…. Instead of fighting the addiction….I began to fight for me. Understanding that the person reflected back to me in the mirror was not who I wanted to be or anything close to I really was.

In order to reclaim the bits and pieces of who I truly was I need I needed a new canvas of life to paint myself on. I needed to forget every belief I held in my consciousness. Thus initiating the process of the miracle to occur within my own personal existence. The re-creation of myself, which simply is the person I am today.

Some may not understand this as a miracle or even dismiss it as one. For those who have had the effects of addiction within their own lives or by default by those they love; know that it’s a miracle. Because the sad, sad truth of addiction is that more die and suffer in it’s prison, then those who escape to freedom.

On September 4, 2007, it will be exactly two years since I stuck that needle in my arm for the last time. My life since then has become more then anything I had ever believed possible and continues to be so. I believe I can initiate yet another miracle at this point in time simply because I made a decision that it will be so.

Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote,

“Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.”

I know this to be true for my life is the manifestation of that decision I made close to two years ago. It was not easy, very unpleasant at times. But I had the willingness and allowed this process by permitting a “Higher Power” to set the ground rules.

Initially this was the staff at the Detox, then the counselor’s in rehab and those running the outpatient facility. I surrendered my life of distorted self-sufficiency to that of the welfare system. I relinquished my life to anyone and anything that had more of a clue how to live other then myself.

I finally understood, what I knew about life equaled roughly ten hospital Detox’s, three trips to rehabs and several outpatient facilities, a trip to jail and too much self inflicted misery..

I’m smart, but my intelligence had nothing to do with creating the life I dreamed of as a little girl. In fact I had created the exact opposite…. a freaking nightmare not only for me but all those that had the unfortunate experience of crossing my path during the years of my active addiction.

Today I am closer to the person I want to be, closer to the person I really am. But at the moment I’m flailing, I really have no clue.

Another junction in the so-called crossroads of life and the signpost are blank. You see this is all new to me, I have not yet written any pages in this part of the book of my life.

A wise man by the name “Rev.” once told me,

“Life is a book. Each day we write a page in this book by virtue of our behaviors. No erasures allowed!”

I can’t change anything that I may have done in my life may it be good bad or indifferent. But I can write a new story from this point on. I have the power to re-create my life and re-create myself.

I chose to heal.

Heal myself from all the mis-information I gathered from all the other mis-informed people. I made a decision to finally choose what I wanted to experience in this life, instead of clinging to the hopes I allowed others to paint my dreams on.

Those that know me, know that after working at my job for close to two years I just quit. That little voice within spoke volumes of truth that echoed through the illusion of the reality I held on to. I couldn’t ignored the truth that no one would have the power for me to live my dreams, except me.

I always thought of “risk” as something in which I would lose something. What I’ve come to realize though is risk is what I don’t stand to gain if not seized when it presents itself as the opportunity of change.

I’m not interested in slaving away at a job for years waiting for the day I retire to “then” live the life I want. I’m not interested in living each day chasing after the illusion of tomorrow and all that it promises, because I lose today.

That’s what happened I worked like a dog for the past year and a half, barely scraping by. Thinking it was the way to get where I wanted in life. But there is no “there” so to speak, there is only here. And I want every moment “here” to be one in which reflects a life lived in the unlimited possibilities and not one lived in limitations.

So now here is where I explain the reason for this experiment. The day I walked out of my job, I had no back up plan and no idea of what was going to happen. All I knew that another chapter of my life was about to be written and it was not going to be a chapter I already lived.

I believe this is a kind, generous universe. I believe that for a majority of us we all want people to succeed, to be happy, to be prosperous. We all want this for ourselves as well.

When watching a movie we all cheer for the little guy that risks it all for a dream. Yet when the movies end we all forget that we too have the same desires for our own dreams. The daily bump and grind on the treadmill of “what is” extinguishes away any of the hopes that were sparked.

So how can this truth become a manifestation of a miracle?

With belief, with your participation I know that this can be evident in the results. I’m asking that only others that believe or even want to believe to be part of this.

The idea has been unleashed into the universe at large. Now all that needs to happen is simply the process of the miracle to unfold. Is it possible for me to remove myself from obscurity? To have my intentions realized by this message as it ripples through the universe? To have the intention return to me as the manifestation of the life that resonates as the truth of the life I choose to live?

Will you be “a part” of this or “apart” from the promise of a miracle in your own life?

The choice is yours.

As for me I already made the decision that this will reach exactly who it needs to in order for this to occur. The truth of the matter is that if this becomes possible for me then it becomes possible for you.


Until Tomorrow,

Mighty Morgan

4 comments:

standalone said...

I would like to see the miracle happens. Watching the miracle in the making is a rare event right.

I am with you.

MightyMorgan said...

Thanks for the Support...

cosmicsurfer said...

You are Truly Courageous !!!******

I have been free of drugs and booze for about 15 years, after years of addiction, thought I would drink and smoke weed to the day I died...About 5 years ago I got out of the third marriage that was unhealthy for me...resulting in my getting Chronic Fatique Syndrome...I too am working at recreating my life...I Wish You All the Very Best !!!******

I am also an Artist...

Meditation has helped me realize my true nature.

EFT, Emotional Freedom Technique is helping me free myself from emotional pain, hatred, and negative thoughts acquired though the years.

I am on a similar mission to Free Myself from negative emotions and pain by using EFT and learning it so that I can be a Life Coach and help others...This will also give me an income that will help me support myself and not need Social Security Disability, which is a blessing , but not enough to pay to take care of me and my 8 yr old son, my parents send me the rest of the money we need to live on.

So I am reading, learning and practicing on me and my son everyday, so that soon I can start helping others and watch miracles happen for them my son and I, along with seeing my income start to grow too.

I will link to your blog from mine...

Wishing You Bliss Always !!!******

BillyWarhol said...

well i ain't doin' no 12 Step Program*

;))

i think the Higher Power is U*

in all seriousness tho - we're talking life + death in a lot of cases so it's whatever gets ya thru the night + allows U to see the next Day clearly*

Peace*