Monday, June 25, 2007

Day One..My Hopes

The Process of a Miracle
Day One….

I posed the question to the universe at large….
“Is it possible to transform ones life in the course of thirty days, in a way that can only be described as a miracle.”

My intention with this question is to transform my own life into the life I dream of having. The life I believe I can have if I continue to follow the inner voice within that tells me it’s possible.

What is the life I dream about you may ask?

One in which I am free to live based in the desires I hold within; instead of a life lived by the faulty beliefs I accumulated by mis-informed people.

I am an artist.
I I ama dreamer that dreams big.
I am someone willing to go to any lengths to shatter the beliefs of,

“Life is hard.”
“Life is a struggle.”
“Life is a bitch and then you die.”
“There are the have and the have not’s”
“Artists starve.”
“Life is work, work is life.”

I have accepted these statements and the mediocre results they have produced and I am no longer interested in validating these as the experience of my own life.

I firmly believe that life offers a multiplicity of opportunities with each moment allowing me to choose the life I want. But there are parts of this picture puzzle missing and at times I find it difficult to put it all together. What I have discovered is that everything I’ve learned, all that I have known has essentially blocked me from attaining the life that I want.

Experience is the condition that rules us and also serves to be the limitations in comprehending that there is anything more then what may be known.

It’s like telling someone that has never seen the color blue, what blue is.

You can't.

The belief systems I carry with me have never fully worked for me. This I did not know because I did not understand that I had a choice to believe in anything else. So this experiment is a work in progress of me redefining the so-called limits I myself have created in my own life.

This is not easy, in no way shape or form is it easy. I have no idea of where I am heading or the path I am creating for my future. That in it’s self is scary as anything but it’s also a relief. I have tried to live my life in the way that others have told me I had to live and I always ended up in the same place wondering,

“How the heck did I end up here AGAIN”.

At this point in time I’m not so interested in arriving at the destination of “again” over and over. It’s said that,

“When the pain out weight the pleasure, change will occur”.

I realize that there was never any pleasure, just a distorted sense of security of what I believed to be comfort. Survival mode is what I’ve known for so long that I convinced myself that it was comfortable. In the same way I convinced myself that high heeled boots were comfortable, that is until I put on a pair of sneakers.

Do I really know how I am going to transform my life??? Nope, not a clue. But I do know that I am doing the things I love to do. I’m drawing, I’m writing. I’m doing everything I always wanted to do; I am following my bliss. Something I never did because I thought that I would do it sometime in the future after…

“All my bills were paid.”
"I had more time"

“I made more money.”
“I got a better job."


When the world would align itself in such a way that everything that seemed to stand in my way would just dissolve. The only problem was that it wasn’t the world that needed to align itself, it was me.

I was the one scared to live my dreams.

I was the one scared to live out side my so- called “comfort” zone.

I was the one that created the mess of a life I lived in and blamed the world at large for making it that way.

If I want more out of life I have to do something different.

That’s what this is about, what this experiment is about. I am challenging myself on the deepest level that one can. Allowing myself the freedom to discover once and for all if anything is possible.

There are so many people out in the world today that say with certainty that my life can be a physical expression of the desires and dreams I hold deep within my heart of hearts. How this becomes possible? I’m not sure. But I do know if I sit around and wonder about the “How” of this, then nothing happens.

All I know is that once again in my life I am giving up EVERYTHING, in order to gain something else. And when I say everything I mean just that.

The life I worked to create for the past two years is gone.

Thank God for that.

If you want to participate in this…..do me a favor let me know I’m not alone.
If you think I’m nuts then humor me.


Until tomorrow …

Mighty Morgan

3 comments:

BillyWarhol said...

wow*

i wanted to go back to where U started*

1 thing i think U are doing which is great is yer Writing + Art* those will help keep yer mind off doing the other bad stuff like drugs - i was able to quit for 4 1/2 years just cuz i decided to - i immersed myself in documenting the Art Scene - so I know U can do it too*

that said U've also brought up something very poignant - how do we support ourselves as artists or just people doing what we love to do* i haven't figgered that out yet but it was kind of the intention of my Blog*

In your case Morgan i think U stand a very good chance of - i don't wanna sound too syrupy but getting on Oprah - but u've still got yer work cut out for U getting free of this major addiction*

One of yer other readers made a good point as swell - Take it 1 Day at a time - i think she said even 1 Breath at a time*

& with each Breath & Day u take U will get much stronger - also by doing this U will feel Good about yerself & feel Healthy & be thinking with a Clear Mind & be better able to make decisions that are Best for U!!!

Cheers Sweetie!! Billy ;)) xoxo

Peace*

namaste*

Barbara (aka Layla) said...

Just found your blog and am totally intrigued. I need a miracle too

Mighty Morgan said...

Hi Barbara (AKA Layla)
Don't we all. We can USE all the support we can get
*Smiles*
Thanks