Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Day Two...The Process of Acceptance

Day Two......Acceptance

I’ll start this as I started the others….

“Is it’ possible to transform one’s life within the course of thirty days in such a way that can only be described as a miracle?”

I believe so and I intend to do so.
But once again what is this miracle I am looking to manifest?

At the present moment I am unemployed in the conventional sense of being “employed”.
I will be moving out of my apartment as of August first, due to my inability to pay the rent.

Seems a bit drab, seems that the solution is for me to just go out and get a job, work, work, work. Save my money and just move on. But that’s exactly what I have always done,with exactly the same results. I don’t believe for one minute if I do exactly what I have always done that in someway I am going to get a result any different then I ever had before.

That little seed of truth was one I missed again and again.

My understanding of the universe at large is that it will give you the same situation again and again until you begin to see it differently. Trust me when I say initially I was freaking out, I was so consumed with self-pity and anger I couldn’t see that I was being offered the exact thing I wanted…..

The opportunity to change my life.

Most of what I have always done never made sense to me

That’s what the struggle was.
That’s where the dis-contentment was.
That’s where the disappointment was.

I was living a life dressed in the suit of someone else’s beliefs and it just didn’t fit. I always thought that something was wrong with me because I just couldn’t seem to live in the world the way I was “Supposed” to.

I have done a million different things, but never the things that “feel” right to me.

Trying to live in the world wearing the wrong set of beliefs is like trying to live under water with no oxygen tank it’s a struggle just to survive. That’s my life in a sentence or what my life was, a struggle to survive.

But I’m a fighter; not in the sense of violent, knock down drag down, don’t look at me the wrong way or else. I mean that deep down inside of me there was always that fire that fought against all I was told to accept, because it knew there was more then what “was”.

I became aware of how this whole situation was an opportunity for me to change my life was in the midst of trying to figure out how to kill myself.

After all the hard work I put into rebuilding my life; within the span of a few months I had lost it all. Not because I did anything wrong, life just presented itself and I folded under the pressure.

I was tired of fighting to survive.
I was tired of barely scraping by after working 50 something hours a week.
I was tired of standing in my kitchen looking into empty cabinets; crying & wondering how it was possible that at 33 years old I couldn’t feed myself in one of the richest countries of the world.

So I gave up. I decided if this is what life was about I wasn’t interested in being apart of it another second longer. But like I said…I’m a fighter and even if I didn’t know it in the moment…something within me knew more was about to be revealed.

I’ve learned that in life the moments where you feel the most hopeless is when you find the greatest strength.

I got pissed.
I got mad.
I got angry.
I took a stand and said…

”No more”.

I made a decision that no matter what I would do whatever to find a different way to live. I became willing to give up everything I have in order to free myself from its deceptive hold. I would risk making a fool of myself, risk falling flat on my face, risk people calling me nuts. Knowing full well that others would resist what I was doing and would tell me that it couldn’t be done.

I’m ok with that, because I have never felt so free, so unlimited, and so hopeful. I have never felt so “right” and I’m not allowing anyone or anything to tell me or convince me that the life I was living was one I should happily return to in sad defeat.

When I was in rehab two years ago a wise man by the Rev. told me….

“People will tell you that you are a failure, that what you are doesn’t amount to much of anything…and you probably believe them. But instead of thinking and believing you’re a failure try this on for size”.

“You are a person in the process of succeeding…having a difficult time.”

This was the first time I ever learned that situations could only have as much power as the beliefs you attach to them. So that is my new motto.

I am a person in the process of succeeding...... but it’s not me having a difficult time. It’s those that are uncomfortable with what I am doing that are having the difficult time

I just want to take a moment and thank everyone that has gone out of their way to contact me in reference to this experiment. I am so grateful and overwhelmed with the support I have received.

Thank you
Until Tommorow,

Mighty Morgan


Mazingerkid said...

Never quit, never surrender, :)
May you inspire others as you inspire me.

Greenleaf said...

Never quit. I hope you can archive the miracles.

I read books called "Think and Grow Rich" and "The 8th Habits". The books are very good and give me a new and different ways of thinking. "Think and Grow Rich" can really give you good encouragement to get what you want in life. ;-)

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Geoff said...

Hi Mighty Morgan! I think you are inspiring! I can identify w/the job thing. I was hit by a drunk driver at the beggining of this year, it's taken 5 months to recover and in that time I also lost my job. You just have to keep pushing forward. I think you have an excellent attitude, and that quote about being a person in the process of succeeding? WONDERFUL! You have a new fan so keep writing! Geoff

Patricia Singleton said...

Mighty Morgan, you are a SURVIVOR. That is where your Mighty spirit of fighting for the life that you deserve comes from. If you need encouragement and to know that you are not alone, check out my blog, Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworker at http://patriciasingleton.blogspot.com . I am a SURVIVOR too. You are courageous. Don't let others take away your dream. You know who you are. You know what you believe to be true for you. Have a glorious day. It is your choice.

BillyWarhol said...

Yeah Corey Hart MightyMorgan - Never Surrender!!