Today my alarm clock was the face of my four year old niece one inch from mine telling me,
"Get up Mogen!"
"Get up!"
I didn't want to get up.
I wanted to sleep.
I was still so tired.
I dragged myself up anyway.
I'm not used to having people around me at all times.
Especially when I first wake up in the morning.
I can be a morning person...but I need an hour first.
A few cups of coffee, a few cigarettes...and I'm good to go.
Today that just wasn't enough.
I felt so drained from every part of my being.
A dangerous place for me to be in that I then have the capacity to just crash and burn.
I had told my family I would go out to my sister's house in Southold with them today. It' on the far East End of Long Island and I really didn't feel like going.
I live in suburbia U.S.A.
People from the city call it the Stix's or the country or bumble fuck.
But it's far from any of those descriptions.
If you walk out my front door.
There's a house.
If you look to the right.
There's a house.
If you look to the left.
There's a house.
If you look behind you.
There's a door...but behind that is another house.
There's not that much room left for anything else.
The past several days my life has been reduced to the drive back and forth from Queens to Long Island and a three mile radius around my house.
There is no where to just escape for a second.
I wanted a break.
It's about an hours drive out to Southold.
Within the first 20 min. of driving;
Houses became few and far between.
The roads got narrower.
The traffic lessened.
No more fast food restaurants.
Just Space.
Fields of green.
Tractor's
Mom & Pop Stores
Farm stands.
Vineyards.
Room for my mind to expand and space for my thoughts to grow.
Sometimes I forget how important it is to stay uncluttered.
Not just physically but spiritually.
When I feel crowded.
My thoughts get crowded.
My mind gets crowded.
My spirit gets burdened by the weight of it all.
There' no where for it all to go it just echo's through all the clutter both inside and outside of me.
Around and around the canyon's of my mind. Circling around and around in the limits of what I reduce my perspective to be at the moment.
But out here....that's not the case.
It's emptiness bursting with the natural flow of life in the most brilliant and simplistic display of design.....
Nature.
Passion exploding forth in the vibrant purple of the Hydrangea's
Calmness in the bright blue of the sky.
Hope in the sea of tiger lily's scattered through the fields of green.
Serenity in the wind dancing through the leaves of the trees.
Wonder in the sparkling stars in the black sky at night.
The elements necessary for my spiritual nourishment.
Sunshine for my soul.
Within it's emptiness lies the absolute essentials upon which my spirit will grow.
Until Tomorrow,
Mighty Morgan
6 comments:
Morgan, your imagery is so beautiful and your writing is so honest and fluid, but I must confess that the thing that you wrote that I found most awe-inspiring was - "Day 22". Twenty-two days of freedom and exploration and learning to like yourself - learning who you are. I'm proud of you, but more than that, I've liked learning who you are along with you and I appreciate the chance to encourage you, learn from you, and call you friend - just as you are. :)
You are so sweet girlie...and as usual Thank you...hey it goes both ways there..just as youv'e learned from me I to.... have learned from you.
Decluttering is essential I have actually recently blogged about it on effect.wordpress.com
here in Malaysia it's also like that if you're staying at a "Taman", our version of suburb, more cramp than your suburbia.. all around are houses sometimes it's suffocating..
yep.. nature is one of the best medicine for the soul, soothe the heart...
Hi Morgan! I completely identify with what you wrote...wow...."When I feel crowded.
My thoughts get crowded." SAME HERE! The way you described leaving suburbia makes me think you should move to idaho lol...because that's what it's like here. I absolutely love your writing. Keep on keeping on. You totally rock! Geoff
You write beautifully. I can relate completely.
Phil 1:6
"Being confident of this very thing, that HE which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ..."
keep looking up and don't look out:)
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