When I woke up this morning it was pouring.
It seemed as if the the sky just opened up and emptied itself all at once.
Most people can't stand it when it's raining like that.
I even have days where I can't stand it.
But all in all I love the rain.
I stood in my Mother's garden letting it totally soak me.
I like the way the drops feel cool on my face.
It almost felt as if I was being washed of the past several days of constant running around.
The lack of sleep.
The fight against the fear that threatens to consume me at times.
I'm shot right now.
I desperately need to re-charge myself but can't seem to find a moment to do so.
But I NEED to or I will fall apart at the seams.
There is so much good in my life at the moment and so much on it's way.
There is so much I need to completely focus on and there is always something to distract me.
I am so tired right now that I really don't even have the energy to write nor do I have the mental capacity to wrap my brain around much of anything at the moment.
I know that I will be up at the crack of dawn with my one year old nephew.
He's a sweet little baby....but he gets up early.
Which means I'll be getting up just as early as him.
When I worked as a bagel girl I used to have to get up before the sun each morning in order to get to work. The trade off was I got to see the sun paint the beginnings of day upon the last remnants of dawn's twilight.
The stillness of the morning at that time always brought such a sense of inner peace and understanding that life was so much more then the basic bump and grind that seemed to always be in the forefront.
Maybe it's time to see the sun rise again...because that bump and grind of life is wearing me out and at this moment in time it's all I see.