Friday, July 27, 2007

Day 26...The Bigger Picture


I was sitting outside today just smoking a cigarette and looking at this tree that has been on my front lawn since I was born.

Through the years it had grown into a monstrous giant looming high into the blue of the midday sky.

Up until a few years ago it was covered in a lush blanket of emerald ivy that hung down in twisted blankets from the branches high above. With each year that passed and the tree grew the Ivy grew with it.

Beneath the covering of jaded speckled leaves; thick ropes of vines began to encircle the tree strangling it. Each new spring would reveal a part of the tree that had been choked of life from the beautiful ivy that covered it. (Click on the image to see how thick the vines were)

My parents decided that the Ivy had to go.

It took a long time of pulling away at the layers of leaves and chopping away at the monstrous vines that lay beneath it all. After many months the Ivy with no source of nutrients from it's severed vines began to shriveled up and fall away, until nothing but the skeleton of it's former self was left.

Regardless of the strangle hold that it had been in for so long...the tree still grew.


Every day it would still reach up to kiss the sunshine in the afternoon sky.
Even when parts of itself were dried and lifeless it never stopped fighting for the parts of itself that still lived.

Today as I sat outside I watched a little gray squirrel scurry through the dead branches and tangle of dried vines that still remain; cautiously he made his way across the tree until he reached a little branch that had sprouted from the dead growth.

On that branch was a little acorn that the squirrel quickly grabbed and ran down the tree to bury in the grass below for winter storage.

I started thinking how nature in all it's splendor and glory carries with it many of the same stories I carry with me in my own life. The struggles I have encountered the things I have allowed to consume me.

With all that I have been through and gone through.....no matter what I still kept moving forward.

I still carry with me my history.
I still carry with me my past.
The hurt still has a place in my heart.
The pain is still there.

The lashes that life has inflicted upon my spirit; the scars will always be there.

But yet much like the vines of the ivy it no longer has the power to slowly kill me. The remnants will stay with me forever more....but the force that threatens to choke the life from me in it's subtle deceptive ways no longer does.

My wounds.
My experiences.
My strength

Much like the little acorn....my pain now becomes a source of healing nourishment for those who have walked the paths of life I have traveled.

It becomes the hope for the next person who has suffered.
It becomes the message for the hopeless.

In rehab two years ago a man by the name of the "Rev". told me....

"You are the message for the people God brings before you".

Deep within me I knew that with all that I have encountered in this life there had to be a reason. A purpose. A meaning for it all.

I am a message of hope.

I am a living breathing message for those who struggle in the silence of their lives.

For all those who feel alone.
For all those who feel unloved.
For all those who feel unworthy.
For all those who feel forgotten about.

I have lived in that silence and struggled in the loneliness of the existence that accompanies it....yet through time I have healed.

I have found freedom.
I have found me.

I have found my way to rise above it all to kiss the sunshine in all it's glory waiting in the afternoon sky.

Until Tomorrow,

Mighty Morgan

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7 comments:

Phattitudes said...

Morgan, you are an amazing, inspiring woman with the verbosity of a goddess and a heart of gold. I am always touched when I read these snippets of your life. I felt like I could see that tree, smell its musty tree smell and taste the flavors of your past. You don't ever stop writing...you have a gift that goes beyond just blogging.

xox,
KeMari

Kristine said...

Wow, that's really beautiful. It's also a great way to think about the bad things that have happened. Every experience, even the bad ones, teaches you something.

BillyWarhol said...

wow*

U are a really really good writer young Lady*

i love that line the Lashes that Life has Inflicted on me - i still have the Scars*

can U increase yer Experiment to 60 daze so we can keep reading U!!

Cheers Mighty Morgan!! Billy ;)) xoxo

Peace*

hey i noticed on MyBlogLog that yer Blog is listed in yer Communities but not as yer Blog - U should change that*

there's also a really nice lady on MBL named GuRuth who's Blog IwannabeonOprah U should check out - cuz U do have a Book o the Month here!!

;))

i always felt i couldda shouldda wouldda written A Million Little Pieces by James Frey + not embellished anything!!

sigh.......

i'm always a day late + a dollar short.......

fuck.........

;PPP

Mighty Morgan said...

Billy my funny buddy..you can be a day late and a dollar shot but damm boy it's never too late...here's another perspective on that....Say you waiting for acheck in the mail and itcomes a month or too late...are ya gonna send it back. It's never to late to do anything unless you secide so.
Love ya with smiles and hugs.
Morgan

xxxloixxx said...

Hi Morgan! Your blog is truly inspiring. I love this line:

"I have found my way to rise above it all to kiss the sunshine in all it's glory waiting in the afternoon sky."

Keep it up! Write more!

Sibbia said...

I agree with the others. This is beautifully written, and I'm not exaggerating in the least when I say I think you should write a book.

channelofhealing said...

Hi Morgan, thank God for the Rev... that told you that you are a message for the people God brings through to you. your writing skills is impressive, continue the good work. I hope people will draw from your experience in life and trust me it is only those who have passed through the fire that will really appreciate your story.

Godbless you

thanks for replying and embracing me whole heartedly