Life in all is amazing glory can at times become overwhemling. Every moment seems to rush into the next without consideration for the one that just occured.
I start to flail.
Crave a second to just stop.
A moment to catch up.
Just a break to breathe.
Then I get it and find myself bored in the peaceful silence of serenity.
That's where I am at at the moment.
But it doesn't feel right.
I feel like in this process that every minute, second and moment I should be unearthing some hidden truths from within that shake my very existence to the core.
Sort of like a movie but my life is in no way, shape or form a movie.
Who I am.
Who I want to be.
Who I dare to be.
All result from the uncomfortable silence of sitting in my own skin. When all the distractions from the outside fall away and the inner can no longer be ignored; I feel the uncertainty bubbling to the surface from within.
I have allowed that little four letter word to create havoc thorugh my entire life. It feeds off of my uncomfortability. Dares me to do something to replace the gnawing it creates in the pit of my stomach. Snickers at the thought of me falling prey to is subtle ways of creating such.......
Dis-ease within me.
That oozes out to infect every area of my life.
I have willingly given myself over to the fear time and time again.
But no more.
I am so far from when I started this experiment. I only gave myself thirty days but I have made enormous leaps and bounds in my own comprehension of the place I hold within this life. In the place I hold myself in within my own life.
A voice within tells me....
It's not enough.
You need more time.
That was my motto for much of my life until I learned how to turn it around and listen to the voice that lies beneath the fear which softly whispers....
It is enough.
You will have all the time you need.
Anything is possible.
Don't settle for ordinary...when you know your extraordinary.
Freedom isn't so free.
There is a price to pay for everything.