Tuesday, May 24, 2011

No more scales!

So as I mentioned yesterday the eating plan that I am and have been following for the past month is the Atkins diet. As many people do I lost some weight during induction, then seemed to stall out for the past two weeks. I haven't gained, but I haven't lost either.

I find it amazing and yet really lame that I can destroy most of my mornings by the simple act of stepping on a scale.Why, why, why do I allow that little hunk of plastic to mock my attempts...So when I stepped on the scale and realized I still haven't lost anything, I was to say the very least very disappointed.

I haven't cheated, I've followed the guidelines, I've removed items that may stall me out...and yet the scale stays stuck and I fell like the worlds biggest failure. Of, course something must really be wrong with me, if I can lose on the diet that so many have lost on!

Well, that's what I tell myself anyway.

So I decided to try to kick it up a notch and start a fat fast for the next few days, to see if that will help me kick start my loss yet again. But in the meantime, I struggle with wanting to step on a scale. I acceptance of self that I have so desperately looked for outside of myself for so long, has yet again returned with a vengeance through the measurement of my weight. It goes a little something like this...

If I lose weight = I am a good person, a worthy person.
If I stay the same or gain = LOSER.

So sad, because if anyone told me this about themselves I would tell them it wasn't true, yet for myself it remains that way. So I have decided not to worry about the scale....for today, hopefully for tomorrow and will just allow this process to be what it is, without looking to poke holes in in through my somewhat seemingly non-failure.

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