Thursday, May 26, 2011

Forwards and Backwards

Today marks the three day point in the fat fast and I can honestly say that I am not hungry in the slightest bit...but that doesn't mean I haven't been thinking about food. In all reality I think about it constantly.

More specifically I have been thinking of  a nice big green salad topped off with a juicy cheeseburger...hold the bun of course.

So strange....not to be craving bread or other sugary evils that lurk all around. I feel as thought I may be losing but am terrified to step on a scale. I know that even if I do lose it won't be enough, I think at this point in time there is no magic number that would ever constitute enough. So I don't do it, simply because I want the power I keep giving to it to be re-directed somewhere else into something more conducive than a stupid number.

I'm actually trying to keep away from all the temptations..trying on clothes that haven't fit in a while, measuring myself...simply because that is not the reason why I am doing all of this. Well, it's part of the reason, but ultimately it's to stop looking and judging myself based upon these silly little outside systems of measurement that exist only in my mind. I'm sure everyone has there way of measuring there self worth, unfortunately, these are mine at the present point in time.

So, to change it am I doing that?

By being proactive, filling my head with new ideas about health, eating and how our bodies process different types of food. If I'm going to create new beliefs I need a new soil of information for these ideas to root themselves in. I have also been going to the gym every single day...well the last three days. I am not pushing myself to the limits, but keeping myself at a steady pace....and I am not judging how well I perform based on how many calories the treadmill tells me I burned.

Overall, where I am at this point of time, is nowhere in particular. One foot is still in the old aspects of my beliefs, whereas my other foot is dipping itself into the velvety waters of new refreshing ideas.

And, my goodness do these new waters feel better than the murky ones I have allowed myself to drown in for long!

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