Friday, November 16, 2007

Day 2 ... When it began

I have been thinking lately about when I actually started to measure my desires of what I wanted in life through the measurement of money.

When did I stop thinking I could have whatever I wanted?
When did I start thinking I can't afford that?
What idea was planted within me that stopped my train of thoughts from expanding?

When I was a little girl I did not pick and choose the experiences of my life through the lens of money. I did not limit what I wanted or desired based upon the idea of if I could afford it or not. But somewhere along the line, when I began to observe the interaction of money as a trade off of sorts, did the idea that "I can't afford that" begin to play it's now familiar tune in my mind.

But if I had the capacity and ability to think beyond the idea of money as a limitations of sorts, I know that it inherently still exists within me. If I look within I can begin to peel away the layers of observations and ideas that have constructed the beliefs I hold about money and I can begin again from that place where I knew and believed firmly that......

In some way, shape, or form...whatever I desired would come to me.

Because in truth there is more then one way to achieve material desires besides trading money for them. I forgot this as I grew older and I allowed my experiences of this aspect shrink into the confines of my salary and budget and did not allow other ideas to play in my mind.

I lost the principle of hope embedded within the framework of "What if?"

One by one, item by item, experience by experience I stopped thinking in terms of what I would like to have and started thinking in terms of what I could afford. Through the years this line of thinking slowly whittled away the idea of anything more than what I had. It actually suppressed my natural ability to dream in the realm of possibilities.

I have been working through these "wrong" ideas about money for a bit of time now and am always pleasantly surprised when I discover how I have been thinking myself into a state of "have" or "have not" because of my beliefs.

When I started thinking about living back out on my own again, I kept running into a wall of ideas and thoughts that screamed in my mind....

"You can afford that."
"Too expensive."
"Settle for something small"
"You don't make enough money."
"How will you afford that"

These thoughts, a steel door that slams down on the possibilities of anything more then I have now. But thoughts that were allowed to roam freely were one's of....

"You ONLY can afford, if even..."
"If you work X amount of hours for X amount of time then you can afford X"

Not a lot of room to explore possibilities and allow my imagination to roam free.
Not much more to see then what I already know.
Not much room to expand in a place of confined thought.

These same thoughts now define, shape and create the actual reality I dwell in....

But I have a choice....and if I change how I think in terms of what I want...will these thoughts again begin to redefine, re-shape and re-create the reality I will dwell in???

What if I could have whatever I wanted without one thought of money getting in the way?
What possibilities could I dream?
What reality could I shape?

Until tomorrow,
Mighty Morgan


Susie said...

This is an interesting thought and something I need to start thinking of too. Beint a single mother with a low paid job I think the single thing I've said most times during my life is; "We can't afford that!". I've said it to myself and I've said it to my kids. I have had a lot of debths I paid off a year ago and now finally I'm starting to notice that there will be money left every month and I can start dreaming about what to do with that money.

Then I realize that there is still not enough money for me to do what ever I want and if there were enough money, I wouldn't have time to do it, because my time goes to the work I need to do to get that money.

Mighty Morgan said...

I hear you loud and clear ion this one's like a merry go round ride that never ends...I just am tempted at the moment to discover if I have it all wrong that in some way shape or form the idea I have is backwards...i guess we'll discover that as this experiment goes on :)

Geoff said...

Great post Morgan! I clearly remember my grandparents having a conversation about affording things. My grandfather made the comment "we can't afford that now, we'll get it later" to which my grandmother replied "it's later than you think, and we're getting it now." I don't remember what 'it' was, but she died very soon after. She was right.

Mighty Morgan said...

I like what you wrote here in relation to your grandmother "It's later then you think"
I have put off so much believing that one day, someday I would have the time to dream, ponder and have the things I desire.....but in the meantime never entertaining the idea of having it NOW.

Anonymous said...

How wonderfully true. I especially like the part when you said when you were a little girl you did not choose your experiences through the lenses of money...

Northern Cyprus said...

This is a great article. Well said. Two thumbs up for you.