Friday, September 14, 2007

Day 25 ...When in Doubt RANT

I HATE today. PMSisjustttheworstmostannoyingirrationalthingwehavetodealwitheveryfuckingmonthourwordsandthoughtsturninwardsothatallweseearetheugliestpartsofourselves


And nothing makes sense

Do I notice my
dainty ankles
or button nose
or shapely calves
I see deep love handles,
a mommybelly with nothing inside,
and NASTY thighs
I am not going to sit here an talk about PMS
we get it
it sucks
i hate myself for a few days and then I move on.


So.....as I sit here and rage I thought I would share with you a few of my favorite key phrases........I hope that you can comment and send me some of your faves.....

Every cloud has a silver lining - this phrase is a particularly annoying one - because clouds are beautiful in their "endlessness" - when riding in the plane, have you ever looked out the window to see the edge of a cloud? Oh look.....there are those silver lined clouds! SO much better than the amorphous never ending sky that draws shapes for our individual pairs of eyes to discover. Why don't we limit the ocean or the the sunset too with silver lining. The world will be a much better place! While we're at it, who needs an ENDLESS universe filled with possibilities. i much prefer finite spaces.

Believe you me - ok we are a nation that in general tends to follow the "AMERICA FIRST"philosophy. Then why do we adopt romance language grammar/syntax for this one phrase. Now, the thing is, it may be only a phrase used by Yentas in Long Island, but it is usually said in a stern tone of voice and is extremely annoying when you add the Long Island accent and loose index finger point. Try it in the mirror - you will literally ANNOY yourself!

When is saying to you that they want to change their ways...........and say they will do a Total 360..............no explanation needed

Indian Giver...this is WRONG on so many levels. What did American Indians EVER give to Europeans and take back. Personally, and I am not kidding, I am working diligently every day to flip the script and coin the phrase Colonist Giver. It just makes more sense and is way more historically accurate. The Dutch(I think it was the Dutch, sorry Mr Hettrich- 12th grade AP American History teacher) purchased Manhattan for a few trinkets!!!

I hate to say I told you so.............PUHHHHHHHLEASE. When someone says that I have to hold back the IMMEDIATE involuntary middle finger flip off. You don't hate to say it. And it has most likely already been said by the self-satisfied shit-eating grin that is on your face. UUGGHH!

WOW this is a much better use of PMS! Turning outward and raging against stupidity is way more enjoyable than staring at myself in a mirror and nitpicking!

Please comment and let me know what phrases cause your blood pressure to rise.........Believe You Me, it is worth the time!

Hope and Love,
Soul Dancer

5 comments:

GO! Smell the flowers said...

We love your style mighty morgan and its sooo good to let it go. We are not fans of the phrase ' better out than in' surely it depends what the subject matter is, gas, yes, something else, possibly not. Anyway you get the idea...keep on trucking...thats another one, what truck?

Soul Dancer said...

thanks so much for the comment! Actually - this was a soul dancer entry! Yes, "keep on trucking" is good one!!

Love,
Souldancer

Michael said...

"It's all good"

It's all good? Come on man. It's barely even tolerable.

I adore your page and thanks for the visit.

Remember: "It gets greater later"

Colin said...

Hi SD,

My blood pressure doesn't rise lol, but there are phrases that do p me off. 'Whatever' being one of them.

As for ones I like: 'Smile, tomorrow will be worse' hahaha

Have a great weekend.

BillyWarhol said...

Lemme Pour ya Another Drink there Chief before we Talk over that Land Deal!!

;))

SOLD!!

for $27 Bucks a few Trinkets + Let's throw in a Mirror so U can see yer Bloodshot Eyes for the Next 300 Years + a Cleveland Indians Ball Cap + a Washington Redskins Football Jersey + courtesy of Ardent Baseball Kissing Snoozing Fans Ted Turner + Jane Fonda an ATLANTA BRAVES Mascot!!

;))