Monday, August 6, 2007

Begin Again

There was an old man named Michael Finnegan
He had whiskers on his chinnegan
They fell out and then grew in again
Poor old Michael Finnegan
Begin again.

There was an old man named Michael Finnegan
He went fishing with a pinnegan
Caught a fish and dropped it in again
Poor old Michael Finnegan
Begin again.

There was an old man named Michael Finnegan
He grew fat and then grew thin again
Then he died and had to begin again
Poor old Michael Finnegan
Begin again.

I had to take a few days to really soak up what I had done through the past thirty days and now it's simply time to....

Begin Again.

Where I was at day one was not where I ended up at the 30 day mark.
It appears as soon as I begame willing to change my life....

My Life changed.

So this is where I begain again for now.
Yet again do I know how my life will change in the next 30 days?

Nope...still no clue.

But it certainly will not be the merry go round I have spend my life on. Right now this is the tentative plan. I write "tentative" because in my experience....

I make plans and God laughs.

I am staying flexible enough to jump through any and all hoops that life may present to me through this next phase of the journey.

I had shown a few people what I had written through the past thirty days and I was really overwhelmed by the response I recieved. One of which has agreed to help me in whatever way possible to get it into print. So this is my next puzzle that I will begin to peice together.

Is it possible to publish a book and have it recieved by the world?

I have written more then once that I am no longer willing to trade my life away in order to barely survive. What I have learned through life hasn't worked and I truly believe down into the depths of my being that a path is being opend before me to discover the unknown.

Weaving throughout the subtle ryhme and reason that life contains there is more then the very distorted truths of what I was led to believe.

I cannot accept that my purpose in life is to settle for a nine to five job of whichI have no interest in. I can't believe that within the framework of a divine intelligence "that" is the possiblity I have to endure as the truth of my life.

So I won't.

There are moments when I wish I could just accept an ordinary life. Be okay with what others determine their life to be...but I can't.

Every single fiber of my entire being tells me that is not part of my journey, not part of who I am, not what I have the capacity to settle for.

Still sometimes I wish I could.

The thing about having dreams is the fear that sits right alone besides then for the ride. The little whispers of doubt it infects them with....

What if I try and there is nothing more?
What if life is what I can't accept?

Questions that have no answers until I test them with the experience of chasing them with all I have. Sometimes it seems easier to live in the fantasy of what dreams may hold then to risk knowing that they can never be a possibility. The courage to participate within my own life to be responsible for the life I choose to live is in moments terrifying. I can no longer blame the world at large for what my life became.

I choose to take responsibility for me.
I choose to take responsibility for my dreams.

There's something stirring within...
I wonder what will happen next?

Until Tomorrow,
Mighty Morgan


Ashwin said...

Hey good to see you back on the blogsphere again, Like your attitude towards life, Inspirational stuff in your present post, as I have already said earlier, continue like this and you will be a phenomenon in the blogging world, hope your posts get into print soon,
Cheers Ashwin.

Colin said...

Hi Morgan,
Good to see you writing again :o)
Many questions have no answers, we just have to seek them out for ourselves, just as none of us really know what any future days hold, let alone the next 30, for life has a way of throwing a spanner in the works somewhere.

But then you have to look back and realise what you have achieved, and then every new day is a new beginning :o)

Patricia Singleton said...

You have made a great beginning. Now is the time to follow through with what you started. Take a moment to give yourself credit for the hard work that recovery can take. There will be days when you feel fragile. There will be days when you feel mighty. Each is where you are supposed to be at that moment in time. Be grateful for each day in recovery. You are doing great.

channelofhealing said...

Hi Morgan I love the ...I make plans and God laughs.
it is always funny how we want something else and God does something else for us and always it's for the best.

love your writing skills hope everything works out for you as you desire


Sibbia said...

You're back! You're back! I was wondering what you would do with your blog now. Glad to see you writing.

I ended up going back to school when I wanted something more. This time I want nothing less than my PhD and the freedom to work on research projects of my own choosing.

And then there's my blog, my vending and the website I'm working on... believe me, you CAN do more than work a 9-5 job you don't like.

We can do this! :)

BillyWarhol said...

I think U can DO anything!!


Cheers on making it MightyM!!