Monday, November 5, 2007

Day 30 ... Arms wide open

My last day - I have spanned my month of fame long enough. Being someone who has always followed the rules..............I asked my friend, "what do I do if I want to keep writing?"


And so I will. Having worked on my book for a while, I think I need to take some real time to develop an action plan. I thought I would share the title of my book with you all.

Marry Me Justin, or if not How About an Affair? A 30 Year Old's Journey to Inner and Outer Beauty

Are you hooked? I am trying to get to triple digit pages. Trying to send to an editor when I have that much. And so I plan on drilling down on that and getting it ready to go by the new year. An aggressive, though doable goal!

This process has been mind blowing, orgasmic, and one of the healthiest steps I have taken in a long time. I have reconnected with an old friend named creativity.....I have missed her. I hope not to lose touch with her again.

I find it astounding how easy it is to not make time for the positive, or how easy it is to make excuses. Believe me, I still do it! And I am comfortable enough to say that I will do it again. But I also believe that I am, in spite of myself, and with some active thought, sneaking in some positive changes as well.

I am someone who wants instant gratification - I am working on trying to be more patient. I am also working on recognizing change isn't overnight. And that there are some crazy things about me that I may not ever change.

What I sense is that rather than trying to judge myself with thoughts like, "that is good, that is bad.....that is right or wrong," I should ask different questions. I should be asking why and how. I want to understand why I do what I do and how I can make decisions that lead me in the correct path. I am also thinking about what exactly that path is. I know now that I don't really know....I am sometimes ok with that.

When I started this, as usual I was expecting overnight change. I am not a new or different person. I am a richer person (NOT in terms of material wealth), a more reflective person, a more hopeful person.

I remain a work in progress, but am developing a greater sense of who I am.

I remain amazed at the positive people I have connected with, further solidifying my faith in humans.

I will be in touch with a potential new blog spot. I will not lose touch with my writing, nor the people who have inspired me.

Thank you.

Hope and Love,
Soul Dancer

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